-Dr. Hitesh Shah
Role of sexologist in helping couples / individuals overcome problems of their sex life and intimacy!
Covid 19, truly anti – love virus!
Is Covid taking toll on couples intimacy and sex life? Are sex and intimacy issues on rise during corona times?
Are couples thronging at counsellor’s / sexologists’ offices to seek help for their intimacy and sex life issues?
Is social distancing leading to more heart to heart disconnect?
Covid situation is becoming a kind of, way of life, for at least some more time to come.
‘Once upon a time’, before ongoing COVID era, the daunting and disturbing factor affecting most couple’s love life was lack of quality time with one another.
While we empathize ourselves for experiencing all the evils of Corona, it is blessings in disguise that entire families has started spending more quality time together! ‘Work from home’ (WFH), has become the new normal, for many of us!
This article is being written in August 2021, just after the many states recovering from the second covid wave in India.
We don’t know what’s worse to come! And, hope-fully with fairly good level of herd immunity developing due to the natural exposure as well as the vaccination drive, the worse is over!
Meanwhile let’s make some observations on last more than one year’s covid situation’s effect on people’s love and sex life!
The Upside in Intimacy
- More quality time, with each other and for each other. Family that plays together, stays together!
- Sharing and caring for each other while knowing more about each other and knowing more about demands on each other in one’s work life.
- Increased opportunity for leisure for more romance, spontaneity, and foreplay.
- Frequent privileges of lovemaking and sharing of joy.
- Lot of togetherness and fun activities, hobbies, online web series or even sharing of day-to-day household chores!
The Flipside to personal lives!
- Too much of familiarity. And, they say familiarity breeds contempt!
- Monotony.
- Boredom.
- Differences or lack of fulfillment of expectations in household responsibilities, creates arguments, differences, hurt feelings or ego hurt. This spills over on the intimacy moments.
- A lot of expectations from self and partner leads to a very high-performance pressure, especially on men.
- Many taking too much of performance boosting OTC drugs (sildenafil, tadalafil) to meet with partner’s higher demand. Previously, lack of adequate quality time together, use to camouflage these relative sexual inadequacies of relatively less sexual passion or periodic performance issues. But now there is no escape! No wonder, lot of men fall prey to these performance booster drugs. And subsequently they become psychologically and physiologically dependent!
- When one of the partners has to overwork because of extra work and long working hours. Lot of people feel more burdened because of downsizing in their company and overworking for more than 12 hours. This obviously leads to lowered desire or performance.
- Many people are facing job cut or salary cut or expenses due to covid in family member which necessitated hospitalization. Such financial worries and job insecurities immediately affects one’s love life.
The lifestyle during Covid times and Intimacy
Interestingly those who adopted healthy lifestyle with ‘early to bed, early to rise’ principle integrated with exercise and healthy – nutritious food have turned out to be winner, not just to boost their immunity but also to boost their libido, performance, love life and total intimacy.
As against this, those who were into sedentary habits and apart from obligatory works from home hours those who resorted to tv or late-night web serials or movies and social media surfing, have ended up with increase in weight, mood swings, irritability, discord with partner and also lowered libido and performance ability.
Shockingly, the news of Bill Gates and Melinda filling for mutually consented divorce, during this corona situation, has shaken the whole world. Although, there is no direct correlation.
Lot of couples are contemplating on the stagnancy or the problems in their relationship and marriage. And, there are increasing number of couple approaching for monotony as well as marital discord.
Sex life – post corona infection
Post any acute illness, sexual urge and performance is known to decline for certain period.
This is due to onslaught of illness itself, general weakness, heavy antipyretics and antibiotics or antiviral. Illnesses, In addition, corona carries its own psychological impact due to fear and isolation. All these together, derails the rhythm of a couple’s intimacy.
In addition, we as clinical sexologists are getting lot of patients now a days, complaining of low sexual desire even after few months of having had corona infection and many men are not able to get normal erection. (Erectile dysfunction.) Women also tend to have low sexual desire with post covid fatigue! Although, any direct or indirect pathophysiological correlation has not been established so far between covid infection and sexual dysfunctions. Lot of Homeopathic remedies are showing fantastic impact in recovery of such post covid sexual incapability.
Sex life for recently married couple
Unconsummated marriages due to various reason has been common even before covid. In current scenario, lot of marriages have taken place in hurry, stress, fear, insecurity, and lot of disappointments while curtailing various celebrations and guest lists. Couple are not feeling at ease. Going to even domestic honeymoon destinations have become a big project and problem. Situationally, lot of couple especially when one of the partners had to fly back abroad, faces long distance relationship and agony and misery of distancing, in addition to corona related social distancing.
Even they cannot go out for a stroll or a movie or visit a mall for shopping or wonder around at beach side. Staying home with family especially during honeymoon days or soon after that makes them feel boredom and ennui.
Desperate and frantic calls and visits to sexologist by the newly wed couples’ who are anxious and nervous due to their inability have a smooth start of sex life and intimacy is getting commoner.
Precautions
Harvard heath article on Intimacy, sex and COVID 19 gives elaborate guidelines of CDC for couples
Suggestions
- Give space to each other.
- Maintain healthy lifestyle.
- Build and maintain strong immunity.
- Have intimacy with spontaneity and experimentation, instead of daily ‘habit’.
- Be creative and innovative in romance and sexuality.
- Avoid news especially after evening.
- Avoid gadgets after 9 pm
- Have plenty of fruits, especially water melon (the natural Viagra), grapes, berries, pomegranate and all seasonal fruits. Have black dates and figs (anjeer).
- Keep a check on weight.
- If any reduction in libido or performance, seek sexologist help immediately.
- Time to give a maintenance to relationship issues in a sporty spirit.
- Regular walk and body weight exercises.
- Early consultation with expert if any decline observed in desire, performance or overall intimacy levels. Any marital discord or disharmony is also an opportunity to work upon the disruptive relationship patterns, long ignored.
The Best Solution
Homeopathy therapeutic science has many effective remedies for post febrile weaknesses of body, mind and sexual health. An integrated approach of Homeopathy with healthy lifestyle and counselling is helping number of patients who seek help.
For any querry feel free to contact us:
Dr. Hitesh Shah
Sexologist in Mumbai and Sexologist Online
9869035111
www.purnamhealth.com
